Don't be a Doormat.

I recently found myself in a situation where an "elder" was talking with me about my new job. Let's call this person R (for rude).

R: It's great that you were able to get a job. Where is it that you are working?
L: In Seaside.... blah blah details blah
R: Oh Seaside! Well that's unfortunate...
L: Why do you say that?
R: There's nothing to do there. There's no culture, or anything...
L (cutting him off): Well actually there's tons of stuff to do there. I have a blog where I write about different things going on around Seaside and the rest of Monterey County and you would be surprised at how many museums, art shows, music events, festivals, etc going on in Seaside
R: I doubt it.
L (incredulously shaking my head - is R for real?): I'm serious!
MY MOM (whispering in my ear): L! Stop it! You are being rude!
L: No I'm not. I'm simply telling R that he is wrong. He has no idea - I'm not going to sit here and let him insult where I live when he doesn't even know what he's talking about!

After reflecting on this interchange a little more, I just wanted to take a few moments to rant ...and think. My mom expected me to just laugh and go along with what R had said. Yes it was a silly comment and I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but it really irritated me.  I have quickly fallen in love with my new home and town. Seaside has charm and character. There are gorgeous hiking and biking trails, hidden restaurant gems, and - oh! - the views... breathtaking ocean views!

I could tell that R thinks he is an all-around big shot, but I didn't feel the need to impress him. I did not want to be a doormat and keep quiet when he belittled Seaside. A quick Google search led me to this article about how to not be a doormat in relationships, friendships, and at work. The author gives 5 easy steps:

1. Evaluate Your Relationships
2. Find Your Voice **don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. You don't need to be ugly, or mean - be kind and considerate, but speak in specific terms... You can do this. To avoid being a doormat, you must find your voice and speak up when you WISH that you would.
3. Think out what is wrong
4. Realize people are not out to get you
5. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated

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